Mr. Hermit

The (Suicide)

2009-11-11T16:30:34Z

And this, boys and girls, men and women, mom and dad, whom I am not in fact,
Conducting, was her bed all those minutes ago.
This girl you never heard of (or did You? I forgot. It didnt feel like You did). These are the lovenotes
In the boxes, the left-love in the sheets, the brown memoranda stacked
Against Her, the serried ranks of gradesheets, the packed
Jury of her unanswered correspondence
Nodding under the paperweight in the breeze
From the window by which she left; and here is the torn
guitar strings that never got replaced and here is the jotter
With her last doodle which might be her own digestive tract
Ulcer and all or might be the flowery maze
Through which she had wandered deliciously till she stumbled
Suddenly conscious of all she lacked
On a mnahole under the hollyhocks. The pencil
Point had obviously broken, yet, when she left this room
By catdrop sleight-of-foot or simple vanishing act,
To those who knew her for all that mess in the street
This girl with the wane smile has behind
Something that was intact.

longingness

2009-11-06T16:49:31Z

then this soft shrieking cry... wanting to burst out from your throat,

sundowntequilas @ 2009-11-06T03:19:00

2009-11-05T19:21:43Z

im still thinking why flings occur.
but it's fun at the point of time itself, after that, it just all seems so pointless.
so what are you looking for?
that momentary high? perhaps.

nerdasarous

2009-11-02T20:14:55Z

was done with some lit essay awhile ago,
after a really really long attempt. Gees, guess I did lost my lit nerves or something.
Anw, figured I really needed to look at nice pictures so I did and I've got some here.

M, this one's for you.

and this,

and a last one to share,

brilliant, im done.
Now it's time for sleep!

hello sweetpea

2009-11-01T16:01:56Z

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T17:17:48Z

while you may like a hell lot of people in your life,
there will only be this one person that you love, at one time.

I'd feed you with pills of High

2009-10-29T16:36:00Z

“ I think of our hands locked together. She does not reach the same sexual center of my being that man reaches; she does not touch that. What, then, has she moved in me? I have wanted to possess her as if I were a man, but I have also wanted her to love me with the eyes, the hands, the senses that only women have.

If there is an explanation to the mystery it is this: The love between women is a refuge and an escape into harmony. In the love between man and woman there is resistance and conflict. Two women do not judge each other, brutalize each other, or find anything to ridicule. They surrender to sentimentality, mutual understanding, romanticism. Such love is death. ”

- Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: From A Journal of Love: the Unexpurgated Diary

And we could love eachother this way forever. We could.

sundowntequilas @ 2009-10-21T00:16:00

2009-10-20T16:21:51Z

It was a pretty good wait tonight.
I liked the wind, alot. Felt good, almost refreshing.
And it's such a wonder to see people closing their windows from down below,
drawing their curtains, and then switching off the lights.
Almost as if to say, " Good night. The show's over. You can head home now. "

and M, it was on impulse.
Stop feeling bad. Remember I told you we complement eachother.
You like to spontaneously disappear, I like to spontaneously appear.
It's just a matter of time before we collide into eachother.
After, this IS such a small space.

on a heavier note.
I am soooooo not studying efficiently.
okay, but really, I just want to get it done and over with.

you're so beautiful, I forgot.

2009-10-18T18:01:27Z

Shawn:

I had a dream abt you last night.
Before I slept, I asked God for some directions.
He gave me one. Guess who I saw? where? and what I did?

and then I jolted up.

After that, I had this reaaally explicit dream about M.
which is kinda cool I guess.
But I also realised at the same, I can never exclusively belong to anybody else.
Because, part of me am and always will belong to you. It IS just like that right?

“ You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to? ”- Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body

You know that I know that Im gonna love you for the rest of my life, dont you?
Sometimes I think, everyone knows that, other than you.
Othertimes, I think I myself forget that too. But it's okay. It always comes back to me.

Rachel Hansen:

Tom Hansen:

Thank god you're still around.
Now, the question is, when are you gonna be ready to trust again?
Cos whatever it is, I dont think I'd ever stop lovin you.
It's crazy. Bizzare. Out of the question. You know that too, right?

I love you C.
Nope. You better stop believing that it is even gonna end anytime soon.
Cos it wont. Not in this lifetime.
Like I said. Im gonna love you, for the rest of my life.
This life, at least.

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

2009-10-15T18:23:22Z

It's so funny how you make me feel. And I actually walked like the stupid NTUC thrice in and out in less than hour,searching for a proper jar. Worse, for the whole night I thought I was being mindfucked by you. Uh, I hate it when you're annoying but cute that way. Tough luck on me. But well, stay that way :)

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

okay, so I love you. and then?

2009-10-12T19:10:06Z

This is how we're gna get married. yup. this is.

“ Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering. ”

speak me

2009-10-12T17:04:54Z

you know.
I know. we both know.
Im not ready for anything, more. or less.
Im happy this way.

Just like we are

2009-10-11T06:41:28Z

They're playing our song
They're playing our song
Can you see the lights?
Can you hear the hum?

Of our song
I hope they get it right
I hope we dance tonight
Before we, get it wrong

And the seasons
Will change us new
Be the best I've known
and you know me
I could not be stuck on you
If it were true

I was sleeping
My eyes were dark
Til you woke me
And told me that opening
is just the start
it was

Now I see you, til kingdom come
You're the one I want
To see me for all the stupid shit I've done

(Chorus)
Soil and six feet under
Killed just like we were
Before you knew you'd know me
And you know me

Blooming up from the ground
3 Rounds and a sound
Like whispering you know me
And you know me

So this was our song
This was our song
I still see the lights
I can see them

And the criss cross
Of what is true, won't get to us
Cause you know me
I could not give up on you

And the fog of what is right
Won't cover us cause you know me
I could not give up a fight

xx

sundowntequilas @ 2009-10-10T01:05:00

2009-10-09T17:07:01Z

we were only freshmen.
I cant be held responsible.

Read me

2009-10-08T17:26:06Z

It didn't mean I never loved you. I just never got the chance to go about lovin you right. It was the wrong time,wrong place, whatever,it didn't mean that you were the wrong person. Bah.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

3 rounds and a sound

2009-10-08T17:09:34Z

and the criss cross,
of what is true wont get to us.

darling cheryl, i'd be waiting good

2009-10-04T03:29:31Z

its 1120am in the morning.
I am up, trying to read some notes on Gp, before headn ovr to finish the paper2 of the A Levels 08 paper.
Tania gave me something too heavy to read about.
I think I am gna remain melancholy for awhile. Feel free to drop by : www.oiseaublanche.tumblr.com

“ Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too. ”

- Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

“ It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight. It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me. ”

- James Frey, A Million Little Pieces

baby, I miss you already. I never stopped anyway.

kiss me here now

2009-10-02T16:24:29Z

I wna be around you, all the time <3

slow dancin' in a burnin' room

2009-09-30T06:54:00Z

cant seem to hold you like I want to;
so I can feel you in my arms.

im so done for.
im so done for.
im so done for.

so should I repeat Year2 ?

Sat Night Fever

2009-09-27T09:04:40Z

gx gx you're so cute. gayboy you are, and gay are you.

oh baby

2009-09-26T18:37:25Z

I so wna get this. I wna get this. I wna get this. *chants*

sundowntequilas @ 2009-09-26T23:25:00

2009-09-26T15:26:43Z

Golden slumber of 16hrs. Im going for more :)

honey, come home

2009-09-25T15:31:18Z

What would you say if I,
Told you that all I thought about,
Is you since you've been gone.

I wish someway somehow,
I could turn this world right back around,
and the mistakes I've made.

So that I could say to you that:
I know things aren't quite like what they used to be.
Different faces, different places
Yea, We can try,
Oh yea, we can try.

What would you say if I,
Told you that I'm not giving up,
However long it takes.

Its clear that things have changed,
Since when we started but we can't
Just walk away babe.

So I'm telling you that:

I know, things aren't quite like what they used to be.
Different faces, different places,
Yea, we can try,
Oh yea, we can try.

-

2009-09-24T02:51:39Z

make me a choice, not an option.

Passive Acceptance

2009-09-24T00:15:51Z

Would You listen to My Soliloquies?
I guess all humans are the same?
when we are conditioned to react in a certain manner.
we give in and well, become conditioned conformists.
its like, there's this lack of fighting spirit somewhere, or maybe,
this years long of invalidation and brainwashing by society and families have caused us to have so weak a willpower, we just give up trying to fight back the moment our ideas get thrown off the ground.

i've been thinking,
how good it'd be, to just remain in my own shell,
and like qx suggested, decorate it with everything i like, and be happy living in there, alone.
brilliant thought.
almost naively optimistic though.
(humans are getting increasingly difficult to comprehend)

well, but ideals are meant to be held in your hands like tiny fragile bubbles, shining bright blue till they burst, and with them, goes all of your dreams.
in the mean time, just enjoy how you're able to hold sucha wonderfully vulnerable matter in your hands.
feels good doesnt it?
to control, your ideals, in your own hands.

on a side note,

TANIA CHER. STOP STALKING ME. : )
but i love your songs very much very much, thank you.
and i miss you...........r itouch alrdy. ( yesyes, your touch, pun intended* )
PLEASE LETS GO OUT SOON.
exams are killing me. :(

oh, and i woke up at like 5plus this morning.
for god knows what reason! and i cant fall asleep.
so i guess im gna study for econs now.
( pray pray pray, recession comes out! )